The Tale of Three Toilets

Yesterday left me feeling totally defeated in the potty training department. I would like to report that today was more triumphant, but that would be lying. So I'm here to report that today went exactly like yesterday, which means I smell like urine and so does more of my carpet.

Rather than focusing on something I cannot control (where my son puts his urine), I am focusing on something I can control - shopping (unless there is a good sale, then control is not realistic).   The desire to shop is a result of some major potty training equipment failures!

Our first potty, bought for child #1, was a practical purchase. No characters smiling at you and it didn't require batteries. However, that's where it's practicality ended. We soon discovered the splash gaurd was totally insufficient and every time my son peed, it was like a geyser shooting across the room.   It had to go!

Our second potty had a taller splash guard and an encouraging Elmo on it. A week after its Christmas debut (yes, my son asked Santa to bring him a potty) we had a throw up incident that changed Elmo's native language to French. Despite not being able to understand Elmo, it manages to do the job for child #1.

Then came child #2. He was not impressed by French speaking Elmo, so a third potty was purchased and, sticking with tradition, Santa brought it as well. This one was a flashy Cars 2 potty with a gear shifter and revving engine sounds. It's flaw was discovered shortly after it arrived when there was a flood of urine flowing underneath it every time it was used. Nothing like pee soaked floorboards to make a house smell spring fresh.

Even though my standards of what is sanitary have drastically changed recently, another new potty is a life or death situation and if it wasn't 7:30 pm, I would be on my way to Walmart.

My advice is skip the training potty altogether and go straight for the liqueur cabinet. A little tequila might help sterilize the situation, limes smell better than ammonia and after a few gulps from a cactus glass this might actually be tolerable.