I knew when I became a mom one of my main responsibilities would be teaching my children. What I didn't know was that I would have to teach many concepts multiple/a million times to the same child. Here is a list of 10 things I have taught more times than I thought I would have to:
1) How to sleep through the night. Just when we get one kid sleeping through the night, one of the others decides it's their turn to wake mom and dad at some ungodly hour. Three months later, that kid all of a sudden starts sleeping through the night, but now his little sister gets hungry at 3 AM. The cycle is infinite.
2) How to ride a bike. Whoever said you never forget how to ride a bike hasn't met my children. I think a chunk of every spring will be spent with me flabbergasted that I have to put training wheels back on the bike that went miles last summer on two wheels.
3) How to go poop and pee in the potty. One day it is all glory the next all gory! Enough said.
4) What the results will be if you hit your brother in the face with a stick.
5) What will happen if you tease your brother... See #4.
6) How to take your clothes off. A two year old can strip off his clothes as fast as lightning if there are guests over, but all of a sudden can't get a single sock off if it is bath time.
7) What the purpose of eating is. Babies instinctually know what to do when they are hungry: scream and then devour whatever they can suck on. But a toddler sees no purpose in eating anything other than a hotdog or mac and cheese.
8) What happens when you piss mom off. The saying is: if mom ain't happy, no one is happy. So why do they keep doing it?
9) You have to go to bed every night. Bed time is 8 PM, so why is there alway shock and disbelief along with whining and bartering at 8:01 PM? Kids must be in bed early enough so mom can fantasize about her margaritas before her bedtime at 10 PM.
10) That zombies are not real.
So true. It is amazing how they forget things that seem so constant. I am pretty lucky about the sleeping thing right now though. My kids don't usually wake up. Maybe because I am not very pleasant in the middle of the night and they decide it is just better to not wake up. Ever since I decided to stop waking up fir Tanner a few months ago I finally get to sleep all night long. Yay!
ReplyDeleteAnd potty training is so frustrating. We potty trained Braden back in October and did fine but then a few weeks ago suddenly didn't see the need to use the toilet anymore. He was pooping and peeing in his underwear every time, not just an occasional accident. It was so frustrating. Luckily pulling out the gum ball machine again solved the problem. I have just come accept that I will have offer him gumballs for the rest of his life.
Erin, I don't have kids but your list is awesome!
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